Honest Government Advert | Koalas & Trees

Honest Government Advert | Koalas & Trees

Gday, I’m from the Australian Government Do you love koalas? How cute are they? Nawww… look at this one! What about trees? Here’s a koala IN a tree! You like that, eh? Well fuck you then coz Australia’s
koala population is declining so rapidly your grand kids will only ever see one
of these furry bastards in a showbag But relax… it’s just a natural consequence
of the Regional Forest Agreements (RFAs) we introduced back in the 90s Just like your inability to afford your own
home today is a natural consequence of this bullshit from back then That, and those smashed avo brekkies you scoff all day It’s all part of our FK’IT Policy: making
sure there’ll be less good shit left for our kids to enjoy We introduced FK’IT soon after we invaded
Pandor… I mean, Australia – by obliterating half of
our ancient native forests And now, thanks to those RFAs, and the highest
rate of land clearing in the developed world, we’re doing our best to destroy what’s left Which is why so many koalas have nowhere left to live (just like all you first-home buyers out there) Oh and if Barny gets his way, this little
fella will soon be homeless and bugger off too But look on the bright side: logging jobs
have… Actually… they’ve also declined… due
to mechanisation and, well… the fact there’s fewer native trees left to log So as you can see, it’s been a lose-lose strategy And that’s why we’re planning to renew
those RFAs for another TWO DECADES So we can turn what’s left of THIS into paper… coffee cups… and shit tickets Instead of using plantations… alternative fibres… and protecting the remaining wilderness
in proposed sanctuaries like the Great Koala National Park
and the Great Forest National Park – which would: create stacks of ongoing tourism jobs stunning recreational areas A secure home for furry buggers AND help avoid epic climate change fail since our eucalypt forests store more carbon
than any other forest in the world Koalas in trees Cuuuuute but… FK’IT! Authorised by the Australian Department for Intergenerational theft

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100 thoughts on “Honest Government Advert | Koalas & Trees

  1. Dear friends who <3 our videos – Giordano here with an important message:


  2. Hmmmmm chop down a plant that needs at least a decade to grow to a size where I can produce enough objects from it that it's worth something or and I know this sounds crazy use a plant that is fully grown and harvestable within 3 months and can be made into the same objects xD

  3. Great video till you added the climate change hoax bullshit. They were predicting global warming disaster back in 1922. They said everything Al "Massive Carbon Footprint" Gore said in his fictional movie "An Inconvenient Truth" about disappearing glaciers, rising oceans, and displaced coastal populations and none of it happened. The earth is CO2 starved. The more we have the greener the earth the more mouths we can feed without using cancer causing chemicals. But all you green warriors don't actually give a shit about starving third world countries, you just like to sound like you do.

  4. If I see these fuck heads in the street I’m going to get arrested for assault but it’s all good because I’m a minor 👍🏻

  5. satan doesn’t like forests and secret societies worship satan get a clue idiots government is always corrupt no matter where

  6. Instead of committing suicide, perhaps deal with whoever is responsible for this. Nothing left to lose for those already so inclined.

  7. What a load of shit. Are you guys in the green party. You have no idea. People who care about the bush are being lock out due to people like you. Say no to VEAC and Labor plus the greens preference deal.

  8. Dam it its painfully funny watching these videos. I hope the Ozzy & NZ politician pro,s are to !!!! In A world for their people not their back pockets.

  9. Koalas are terrible animals

    Koalas are fucking horrible animals. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally – their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit and occasionally scream like fucking satan. Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently… Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're fucking terrible animals. Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio… There's a trend here). When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury… should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them.
    Tldr; Koalas are stupid, leaky, STI riddled sex offenders. But, hey. They look cute. If you ignore the terrifying snake eyes and terrifying feet.

  10. You are a beautiful woman. It's so sad that everywhere we see govenrment, we see the darkest side of human beings. In fact, there is a relationship here. Only dark minds, who are interested in money and power, will seek government positions. That's why government implies darkness. I've reached the conclusion that civilizations are always bound to destroy themselves. People ask why don't we see alien life anywhere else? It's because as soon as they get technology thy destroy themselves like a cancer on their planet.

  11. You deserve every bit of it for giving in. The moment you gave away your rights protect yourself, you sold your soul. Good luck with it

  12. Better to manage a forest than let it burn down. But hey your a liberal so commonsense doesn't apply to you.
    Why not do a ad on how nzers are treated like 2nd class citizens in oz?

  13. Yeah, coalas should burn in …
    Wait actually I like them. They are so cute and I think it is important to keep the forest alive as far as possible and use alternative goods.

  14. This is high-quality liberal propaganda. Obama and Hillary approve of your bullshit message

  15. Tony Abbott actually thinks by cutting down more trees in Tasmania he will create more jobs than tourism will.
    What a moron

  16. You've got a few good ones but,,,,way too Liberal! America? Way Too Liberal! Retune your politics! 'Politics is destiny,' said the great napoleon.

  17. 25 million Australians

    Plant 1 tree per year per person

    Remember who said “ kill one fly a day”?
    Look it up

  18. The videos are very clever way to show the world what absolute idiots the Australian government is composed of and how stupid the majority of citizens of Australia are for blindly going along with their insane policies…

    The problem is world wide, irresponsible greed that seems to compel modern nations to destroy themselves and the future of generations yet to come.

  19. Furry Bastards…… hehehhehe
    Joking aside…. as a Brit, it's so depressing to see what your government has done and is doing, to your Beautiful country.

  20. Koalas are cute and all, sure, but the women working for the Australian government are even cuter.

  21. Dear JuiceMedia, I love your videos, but they are turning me into a woke misanthropist — good work! I love you guys!!!

  22. How 😔 sad. I was just sharing this issue with my students in Mexico, they were shocked 😲. I lived for a couple of years in Australia and thought that the government had its act together in many many ways…., the truth in these videos is so disappointing and heart breaking.

  23. Australia is apparently full of Muslims looking to impose Sharia law and yet all this is happening and no one out there gives a shit. They've just had an election and the anti environmentalists won.

  24. One solution..revolution.they don't give a rats arse about a partition as its your opinion . Burn down corporate offices and cost them money for that is all they love

  25. Cant wait till I can afford to support you guys. The government makes sjw's and you guys shut them the fuck up and I love that. Hope my mother can see this comment lol

  26. Amazing! Top class and love it. Wish we had something similar for the UK. Can you help us create it? Bout time we kicked the dinosaurs out of office and sorted their fuckeries out

  27. i will donate when i in a better financial situation. Whos gonna 'Patreon' me, in times of need? 😉
    Love Your Channel!!!!

  28. There's only two ways to use your thumbs for this video.
    1. Thumb up the video.
    2. Thumb up your ass and do nothing.

    Sign the petition. I did!

  29. #Koalas
    Use these tags to share the video, you're fucking welcome!

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