Late Night Democratic Presidential Debate Round Two

Late Night Democratic Presidential Debate Round Two


-CNN held the second round of Democratic presidential
debates last week. And once again, they had to
split it up into two groups. And my complaint was not enough
candidates in one night. So I decided to hold
a debate of my own. All 20 candidates are
right here, right now, and they’re ready to go,
so without further ado, here’s the “Late Night
Democratic presidential debate.” [ Cheers and applause ] Welcome to the “Late Night 2020
Democratic presidential debate.” I’m your moderator, Seth Meyers. Congressman Delaney,
let’s start with you. The latest polls have you
at less than 1%. Who is still supporting your presidential campaign
at this point? -The people who are forced,
like my dad. [ Laughter ] -Governor Hickenlooper,
if you were President, what would be your goal
each and every Halloween? -Startle and frighten every man,
woman and child in this country. [ Laughter ] -Mayor Buttigieg,
where is Mike Pence not allowed to stand when he’s around women? -Within cheating distance. [ Laughter ] -Senator Sanders, as President, how would you improve
the new Starbucks menu? -By ending all of
the incredible complexities that are driving
every American crazy. [ Laughter ] -Mayor de Blasio,
is it possible for someone to be a Democrat and still be
despised in New York City? -I know from personal
experience, it can be done. [ Laughter and applause ] -Senator Bennet,
how many people here do you think have no idea
who you are? -Half the people in this room. [ Laughter ] -Senator, be honest. -Almost everybody in this room. [ Laughter ] -Senator Klobuchar, a lot of
your critics are worried that if elected,
you’d spend most of your time making origami cranes
in the Oval Office. What’s your response? -As your President,
I will not fold. [ Laughter ] -Senator Gillibrand, what’s really going on with
President Trump? I mean, how did he get this way? -He had an allergic reaction
to eggs, and his whole body
turned red and puffy. [ Laughter ] -Senator Booker, what do you
think the inventor of the Roomba is going to do next? -Create a vacuum that’s
ultimately gonna destabilize the Middle East. [ Laughter ] -Mr. Yang, this is amazing. I heard that you recently
visited an alternate universe. How are things different there? -Donald Trump is an Asian man
who likes math. [ Laughter ] -Senator Sanders, I know you
love to skateboard. What would you say if the cops
busted you and your friends for skateboarding at the park? -This is not radical. [ Laughter ] -Senator Klobuchar, when my
family and I go out to dinner, we’re always full before
our entrees arrive. What are we doing wrong? -This is a bread and butter
issue. [ Laughter ] -Governor Hickenlooper,
be honest. What did you say after you lost
your virginity? -Thank you. And what a night.
I’ve loved it. [ Laughter and applause ] -Vice President Biden, I heard
you have all the Showtimes, all the HBOs,
and all the Cinemaxes. How much are you
paying for cable? -My plan costs $750 billion. [ Laughter ] -Senator Sanders, what’s it
like at a Cracker Barrel at 4:30 in the afternoon? -19 million elderly people
in it. [ Laughter ] -Senator Klobuchar,
when you walk your dog, where do you leave the dog poop? -Sitting on Mitch McConnell’s
doorstep. [ Cheers and applause ] -Senator Warren, I know
how they grow regular corn, but how do they grow
that tiny little corn you sometimes find
in Chinese food? -With small farmers. [ Laughter ] -Mayor Buttigieg,
what is President Trump’s favorite PornHub category? -Naked racism. -Well, it looks like
we’re out of time, so on behalf of all
the candidates, good night.

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100 thoughts on “Late Night Democratic Presidential Debate Round Two

  1. Frankly, Seth would have done a better job of moderating than CNN did. But then just about anyone could do that. Maybe we should just have had a cat and a dog in each its chair, and when either one gave a bark or a meow time was up. Or maybe some had to stop at meows and other at barks. The questions could come from the audience in random sequence, and given to a random candidate on stage.
    That is if TV absolutely insists on having entertainment value out of what should be a sober political debate on the issues. But with the audience asking the questions we might still actually get some questions that people want answers to from candidates.

  2. Anyone else think the next debate's moderators should be Seth Meyers, Trevor Noah, Stephen Colbert, and Jon Stewart?

  3. Have to admit, trump beats the democratic candidates at being a better source of jokes. His presidency has been one big joke, as well as scary, sad, and depressing.

  4. he only did 12 candidates meh….extra questions for sanders, buttig. hick., klob. …total of 18 questions….

  5. I was looking for something else to watch & I just couldn't click away! This clip was just to good. Had to watch the whole thing

  6. As usual Seth brings up Bernie 3 times. You know what Seth you are my favourite of them all. Never disappoint me on which side you stand.

  7. Conservatives don't understand, that jokes will still come no matter what party is in office. Trump and his administration are just morons and give these late-night hosts so much material.

  8. Hahaha Seth misses the White House Press Briefing segments.

    I wonder if Seth's bits where he'd have Trump/Huckabee answer out of context has anything to do with the White House's doing away with them. Hmmmm….

  9. I need more of this in my life. Hilarious stuff right here – well done Seth! After a long day of work, coming home to laugh is great!

  10. Skate board joke about Bernie was similar to a joke they had in Behind the Bastards podcasts for the first Democrat debate.

  11. I'll be damned… search naked racism on PH and you get 1,136 videos matching that criteria.

    Now stop judging me! I can't be the only one who checked.

  12. https://www.breitbart.com/the-media/2019/08/07/nine-themes-in-el-paso-shooters-manifesto-the-media-ignored-to-blame-trump/

  13. "Senator Sanders, someone wrote that Bill Clinton was a corporate tool in the bathroom stall earlier. Do you know who did it?"
    Sanders: "I wrote the damn Bill!"

  14. No Harris or Beto – My bet is on Harris-Beto becoming the 2020 Democratic Presidential Ticket – They are no joke lol

  15. Seth Meyers is a used and abused slave of the liberal-left he is forced to suck their ass or they will stomp him out like a cockroach and that will be the end of his sorry ass show.. must be tough for Seth Meyers unable to criticize the left, when you're a slave to the liberal-left you are not allowed to have any balls

  16. Since the MSM fake news can not deliver the truth the comedians have to because the news does not favor the left and their continual lies are not working ???

  17. In an alternate universe, 45 is Asian and likes math. .. well if that's true, in an alternate universe , i am the president of wakanda and likes yoga.

  18. This was great. The only missing joke was………

    Seth: Senator Sanders. The credit card company is saying they didn't receive my payment. I know I sent it in. What should I say to them when I call them.

    Bernie: I wrote the damn bill.

  19. You had 20 candidates at your disposal and yet you allowed only 12 to answer questions. Even CNN did a better job than you did!

  20. The word malarkey is valid, accurate and not vulgar.
    Maturity matters.
    If the audience is confused by an advanced vocabulary, pull out a dictionary.

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