-Matt Bevin, the Republican
governor of Kentucky, lost his re-election bid
to a Democrat yesterday, despite President Trump holding
a campaign rally on Monday in the state to support him. Wow, Trump has
the reverse Midas touch. Everything he touches
turns into second place. I’ll bet when he
picks up a diet Coke, it turns into a diet Pepsi. That’s right, the Republican
governor of Kentucky lost his re-election bid
to a Democrat yesterday, which is a big deal,
because governor is Kentucky’s
second-highest office. [ Laughter ] Senator Lindsey Graham
said today that President Trump’s policy
toward Ukraine was incoherent and called the administration “incapable of forming
a quid pro quo.” Ah, yes, the old “he couldn’t
have committed these crimes, he’s too stupid” defense. Lindsey Graham would make the
world’s cattiest defense lawyer. “Your honor, my client was at
home on the night in question. I know, because he is never
invited anywhere.” [ Laughter ] According to analysts,
the number of false news reports about U.S. politicians
being shared on Facebook may create a “Titanic-sized
disaster in the 2020 election.” Except, this time,
the berg isn’t ice. It’s Zucker. [ Laughter ] I judge your response as fair. [ Laughter ] Starbucks has released
their annual holiday cups with feature — which feature
four different designs, and you can arrange them to
reveal a fun holiday message. [ Laughter ] [ Cheers and applause ] Authorities in Florida
are looking for thieves who stole
a 300-pound bigfoot statue. Unfortunately, the only photo
they got was blurry. [ Laughter ] You’ll hear better jokes tonight but none of them
that I like more. Justin Bieber today released an
all-natural and vegan deodorant called Here + Now. Though, is this really the guy
to sell a deodorant? I mean,
I can smell this picture. [ Laughter ] That’s right. Justin Bieber today released an
all-natural and vegan deodorant called Here + Now,
as in, “Here, put this on. And now, you smell terrible.” [ Laughter ] And finally, Buckingham Palace
announced today that any new outfits
designed for Queen Elizabeth will not include real fur. Well, technically what they said
was, “We ran out of corgis.” [ Audience groans ]
How is it that one of these candidates looks like Nosferatu, and the other one looks like a regular guy ?
… oh, that’s why.
Check out this hilarious game😂
https://lq-games.itch.io/trump-pinball
In german, Zucker means sugar. His name is literally sugar mountain/hill.
Donald has Magic grits your honor..
Trump is a failure~!
That's ridiculous. Trump has never picked up a diet coke.
Zuckerberg looks like a wax figure that came to life.
I liked the Zuck joke.
Ohoho, I tip my non-existent hat for the Epstein meme.
I love Corgies!!!!
Seth just couldn’t resist the call of the Florida Man, could he?
And yet he still refuses to concede.
"Ran out of Corgis…" lol, brutal!
Seth, art imitates life Trump sent the burglars to Rob the Mcalisters in the movie home alone .
Imrk
Kentucky wins with a Democrat
Only 1? LMAO there are 50states in the usa. HAHAHAHAHA
0:20 sideburn Pepsi
If he's not saying it, someone has to
the Titanic hit a Zuckerberg joke is only good for folks who talk German .. but i guess SugarMountain is funny too
It turns into Diet Pepsi 😂
I bet when he touches a Diet Coke it turns into a Diet Pepsi!
👍🏻
As an Instructor I LOATHE Bevin. I want my retirement I was promised 20 years ago. Thanks for trying to take that away.
All the queens hats are of the finest corgi
That corgi joke was a bit wuff
Anyone wanting to smell like beiber is a pos, so it's wasted money. Just gilding the lily, basically.
Seth was really proud of that last joke
The "too stupid" defense worked for Don Jr and Jared! Mueller did not indict them for the Trump Tower meeting with the Russians because he accepted the thesis that they were too dumb to realize that it was illegal…
🔹🔹🔹🔷🔷🔷🔵🔵🔵💙💙💙💙 VOTE BLUE 2020 💙💙💙💙🔵🔵🔵🔷🔷🔷🔹🔹🔹
"Reversed Midas touch " lmol
I love it when Seth gets a kick out of his own jokes. Adorable!
Bravo on the Bigfoot joke. Above reproach.
I think Zuckerberg looks like H.P. Lovecraft…
nope, not funny today. you need to keep up with trump, there is a lot of sarcastic material there….
Pepsi is better than Coke anyways
striking out a lot tonight 😛
Trumps magic touch is it turns everything to sh*t!
"We ran out of Corgis"………….Hahahahahhaha
Republican legislature of Kentucky steals election win from the people
Midas touch = Minus touch
The burg isn't ice, it's zucker… priceless
It's a good start on the rescue of the country from the republican lawlessness and disregard for the will of the people. Nobody will miss Bevin.
Pepsi > Coke. Your joke failed. Shitty writters on that one.
Wow a democrat finally wins
Just one little thing to tell you, those small leather goods that you buy, like wallets for example, they are often dog or cat skin because the leather is from places like China. So you may have a purse, wallet or some other item that is made from a corgi, certainly from a pupper. No I don’t own any leather myself and Queen Elizabeth has gone fur free, something that a lot of us are happy about.
You can smell that picture? I have no olfactory bulbs and even I can smell that picture!
Zukerberg looks so robotic and burnt out lmao. Dude always looks like he just saw some PTSD type traumatic experience lel
That Titanic/Zucker-berg joke was genius. The setup needed work, but the overall idea was gold.
The joke missed. The joke is dead. Long live the meme.
Isn't deodorant vegan?
bigfoot jawn was genius.
Sadly, I do not think this is a "slam dunk for democrats"! I'm more concerned that he will be Re-elected even if the shift of power in senate goes to democrats. It like people will vote a "balance of powers". Keeping the president
tRump is too stupid to be president…that, in itself, is impeachable.
Good one with the cups:
Zucker…berg!!! Ohhhh😌 😔
I work at Starbucks and I did not see that joke coming. At least, not that angle.
In that photo Bevin looks like Kevin Arnold grew up bitter and jaded.
Also, Beiber's all-natural, vegan deodorant comes in the typical non-recyclable plastic dispenser, completely defeating the purpose. Totally apropos for the Biebs.
One sentence rebuttal of Trump's defence regarding the Ukraine shakedown:
He wasn't asking them to DO a "corruption" investigation* ; instead he was insisting that they publicly SAY ** that they would do a Biden investigation**
* he expressed no interest whatsoever in the doing, and sought no assurances that it would be done.
** on CNN (not in the Ukraine media). Trump hates CNN with a passion but he knows that would reach independent US voters. He already has the votes of most Fox viewers.
**Further explanation: if they DID a proper investigation, they would likely exonerate the Bidens. He wanted the innuendo without the endo.
Elections should never be about looks and style and then I LOOK at both guys and damn. Andy looks like a healthy normal man and Bevin is a living zombie with decaying skin colour.
All the jokes were hilarious. Seth's look after the last one was priceless. And the Epstein one is nothing but truth. I'm glad he's burning in hell but there's still a lot of ugly truth that needs to come to light.
Is Andy Beshear a progressive Democrat? If not, what difference will it make?
You’re pushing it – Trump would never touch a diet ANYTHING
Trump has the 'SHITAS TOUCH'
Admit it Seth, you liked the corgi joke a lot more.
I sure as hell did.
seth is one of the best night shows because his sheer dedication to bad jokes and ability to mock himself and fans. LOVE the personality to this show
The Republican controlled State legislatures are not helping Bevin. They want proof of wrongdoing at the polls
Who on the staff is so obsessed with Corgis? Seth includes way more Corgi jokes than any other late night show. LOL!
The World should make movies to make fun of Trump and his Nazi wanna voters. You know we will for centuries lol.
Zuckerberg is literally "sugar mountain" in German, so it's twice as funny.
The real reason he lost was because Bevin is a jerk. That's that.
If he's too stupid, he shouldn't be president
Zuckerberg's head is shaded exactly like the iceberg.
Lindsay Graham was once a "decent" Republican, now he is a regular passenger on the little bus because of his unshakable defense of anything that Trump does.
Foreshadowing of the 2020 election. You can smell the GOP's desperation and fear.
Quiero un hijo nô hijo ajenos
DOH!!!
1:35 Seth's playing with fire here.
🙄 Seth. That Corgi joke makes ZERO sense as the Queen is perhaps civilizations biggest Corgi lover. (alive Corgi, not fur Corgi) I mean, really…to whom did you throw a bone agreeing to put that fail on air?
Justin Bieber just gets hotter and hotter. We are all Believers now.
Nailed it with the Justin reality check. Thank you
Sounds Like : " The Apple Dumpling Gang Rides Again ".
0:30 – do people realise that "Kentucky Colonel" is a real title?
That corgi joke was not funny
Rough segment. Love you!
0:18 Diet Pepsi is more like 4th or 5th. Diet Dr. Pepper Cherry Vanilla is more likely to be second (just my opinion.. even though I dislike all diet sodas..)
Senator gramm has gone crazy, You need to find another soul mate.👬
0:12
Look what he did to Alabama…..
I LOVED the Zuckerberg joke.
He’s just not that funny
Zucker better step up that un patriotic prick.
"Everything he touches turns to second place" True, he showed up at the Alabama vs. LSU game and look what happened!
Speaking of Florida when ya bringing back Fake Or Florida??? We miss it Seth 🙏🙏🙏
We are all joking about it but if Epstein actually didn't kill himself that would mean the upper class can rape, murder and well, do whatever they please without consequence. Seems kind of scary.
Zuck is not stopping ads due to the campaign promises to break up big tech, he is self serving and unpatriotic. If your company is now the new media outlet for many, there should be a standard to adhere to that journalists subscribe too.
He lost DESPITE tRumps appearance?
No, he lost BECAUSE of tRumps appearance.
Nobody wants to vote for the criminal party any more…except other criminals.
That looks creepy. His long face matches the bottom of the iceberg. Someone needs to draw two black dots under the ice to match Mark's face.
The teaching of critical thinking in schools is basic and necessary. you can bet Dump supporters lack critical thinking skills. it's a shame. govt isn't responsible for policing the accuracy of ads. it's a waste of govt. time.
Flip Zuck upside down and his head looks eerily similar to that iceberg…
Bevin working with Russians is one of the owners of braidy industries that used ky tax payer money to fund. (Look it up)
Worth a look:
https://youtu.be/TOytXv1PPPk
You know, people are saying the Republican governor lost in spite of Trump supporting him, but maybe it's because Trump supported him, and is a sign of how much support for Trump is slipping
People are REALLY tired of the CIRCUS and all the CLOWNS! Even Barnum And Bailey shut down! It's a predilection of things to come…