The Government Hates Boobs

The Government Hates Boobs


Hello internet! I’m primarily Andrew Heaton, and you’re watching Mostly Weekly. And I’ll bet you clicked that headline because
you wanna see boobs. Well what if I told you that was click-bait,
pervert, and we’re actually going to talk about the
FCC. No, I’m just kidding, we’re going to talk
about boobs, and, to a lesser extent, the FCC. Now I could show you side boob, inner boob,
under boob, or quantum boob, but I can’t show you a composite of all four because that would be “wrong” The FCC, for example, considers female nipples
a sexual organ. What makes the areola a sexual organ? The gender of the person it belongs to. Which brings us to America’s favorite game
show: Name that Nipple! Is this nipple Salma Hayek’s or Paul Giamatti’s? And censorship is a weird to begin with. For all the thought the FCC puts into nippledom, they don’t bother regulating violence. So I could show you this: But I couldn’t show you this: We should be able to show both. Now if you were offended by that, note that that human female was my head writer
Sarah who both wrote and approved that joke. Isn’t that right Sarah? Thanks Sarah. Now there’s one group of people that aren’t
afraid of boobs and that’s babies. But if they’re allergic to formula, they’re
in trouble. Because it’s hard to buy breast milk. And breast milk is incredibly healthy for
infants. And even body-builders are trying to use it
for growing muscles. Because who’s more jacked than a baby? But between one and five percent of women
in the US don’t produce enough breast milk to feed their
kids. In fact, when I Googled ‘breast milk’ one of the top suggested searches to pop up
is ‘for sale.’ Now despite the huge demand, it’s incredibly
difficult to buy breast milk. Even though there’s more than enough supply. There are only two dozen donation based milk
banks in all of North America, and they don’t have enough milk. And even when they do it’ll set you back up
to four dollars an ounce which is about six hundred dollars a week
for most mothers. Breast milk doesn’t have to be the cognac
of body fluids. We can compensate women for their milk, that’ll increase the supply while making it
cheaper for needy mothers. And that’s exactly what the internet did. This amazing site offers breast milk for as
low as fifty cents an ounce. They even have different categories, there’s organic, gluten free, and vegan. If you want your baby to grow up to be a commie. But for now businesses like this are operating
in a gray market. Which means it’s the about this legal: The FDA sees breast milk marketplaces as a
liability and local lawmakers see it as exploitative. So let’s turn the gray market, into a great market! [groans] So I see only two solutions One: breast milk exchange companies coat the exterior of their building with female
nipples. That way they’ll be obscured from view and
can operate privately and securely. Or we can update the way we see breasts as
just another beautiful part of the human anatomy and women can do whatever they want with their
own bodies. And look, I’m all for being ashamed of our
bodies because I’m a WASP. But I think we should be ashamed of every
part of our body, not just the breasts. Well thanks for watching Mostly Weekly, I’m somewhat Andrew Heaton… or am I?

Posts created 19620

100 thoughts on “The Government Hates Boobs

  1. Government sure does love ass though. Because thats what they are…a giant fucking ass.

    I like ass too though…so…wait…..AM I THE GOVERNMENT???!?!?!?

  2. Really well designed skit. Jokes were consistently good, anchor had a fun personality, and I loved the font! Great work guys!!!

  3. You liar! There are no boobs. Sarah is wearing a bra, this whole video is about prompting humcows.
    I see through your game.

  4. It's not just the FCC that consider female nipples a sexual organ- every man, woman, or pubescent teen that's gotten wood from looking at, feeling, fondling, or sucking on a pair of tits has turned them into sexual organs. It's that simple.

  5. I would like my children not to grow up to be commies. No foreign, free range, vegan breast milk please.

  6. I'm going to call the FCC on your audio recording tactics. Seriously, fix the hum. Maybe turn of the air conditioner? Otherwise, great show as always!

  7. In the age of the internet and streaming services this topic is irrelevant and a waste of energy. I can type "tits" in to google and see all the titties I want for free. I say let the dinosaur media choke and die.

  8. Doesn't reason tv have enough of a budget to have decent audio quality? the humming in the background is really bad.

  9. Sex organs are organs which facilitate sexual reproduction. Thus, nipples are NOT SEX ORGANS YOU GOVT. FOOLS!

  10. Aaaaand here's where I part with libertarians. A sense of decency is a crucial part of culture. Women should be able to sell breast milk though.

  11. For reasons of historical accident, Americans are accustomed to G rated fare on T.V. and pornography on the internet.

  12. Your Born You Die, in the mean (you know Average) time, be all you can be ~ and ~ Should Congress Work To Remove Judges That Blocked President Trump’s Executive Orders? Yes, The Declaration of Independence and the Constitution of the United States of America: Article III; Section 3~! RAG L.L.C. Museum Of Science: Philologist: Second of June Twenty Seventeen: From the Desk of: Mr. Roger A. Gertz: Polymath: One word~! Hillary likewise blames Big Bird for birthing an egg which really cost her the election and the truth hurts~! This is why you poke it with a finger, rub some dirt on it, and jump up three times while saying "Oh me oh my oh~!" Knowledge is power, know yourself, and know your enemy~! 1. Please~ Do not get me started~! 2. The Poly-penny~! 3. Qualitative Management Program~! 4. "No funding for this program~!

  13. All left libertarian ideals work out about as well as open borders (the reduction of censorship and pro egalitarian sentiments that is, the government involvement in anything is a terrible thing though)

  14. After a long day of driving home from vacation (in the car with screaming kids) I NEEDED good laugh. Thanks! 🙂

  15. "Vegan if you want your baby to be a commie"
    As a vegan capitalist, I laugh at this! Capitalism is a vegans best friend for making people go vegan…

    >Animal Agricultural is massively subsidized
    Fucking disgusting commie flesh-eaters.

    Lets how long in-vitro meat takes to become cheaper than NON-COMMUNIST flavoured meat. Now there's a real competition.

  16. I want to open a dairy farm after watching this. A couple of dozen plump, low IQ livestock, a cable TV subscription to keep them content and a good supply of high fat/protein food and it should be good to go.

    Taking the collectivist concept of "From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs" to its logical conclusion.

  17. They need your misery so that you continue to try to fill your loneliness with things.
    Things they can tax. Can't tax tits, because half the population has them.

    There's no scarcity of tits, so the price tag is effectively zero.
    Unless… You make it illegal. Now the price tag is 1/3rd of your life.

  18. Great vid, BUT there's a loud buzzing noise in the background of the entire video. You need to check it before you post vids

  19. This is an amazing channel! First watched your LSd vid, subscribed straight away and i've just been finding non=stop great content from you guys! <3

  20. But this is not broadcast news. You can display that nipple in all its un-pixelated glory as long as you are OK with this being content restricted. I imagine most people who are interested in Breast Milk market places would be over the age of 18.

  21. wow this is great on so many levels. FUN, BOOS, BASHING GOVERNMENT (L)(L)(L)(L)()()L)OL)L())()(L)(L)

  22. Mostly Weekly is great. One question: Would it kill you to include the series name in the video titles?

  23. This is garbage, a couple of good points sure, but blatantly making an effort to deceive the viewers, not asking enough questions, explicitly ignoring relevant questions.
    Its a pitty this is considered by many to be a great Libertarian channel.

  24. Usually Reason TV videos have lots of reason, but this one is lacking.  First of all you can show a composite of the breast shots as long as the nipple is concealed.  I think even nipple guards are legal.  2nd you cannot dump all this blame on the government because the reason why breasts are a "sex organ" is because of our culture.  Even in porn magazines often there is a shot of nothing but a bare female breast.  Even in cultures were censors are more relax such as England or Japan: often a breasts are related to sex.  However, sometimes even in the USA, they make exceptions do to context, such as documentaries or even the mini-series "Shaka Zulu" where they depicted African tribal women with bare breasts

  25. Really, really weird tidbit, but the guy who the nipple belongs(0.33) to is a personal trainer at my local gym!…Its not even a big gym, its just a basement type gym in the outskirts of London!

  26. Interesting that women can do whatever they want with their bodies when it comes to killing babies, but try to sell your breastmilk? Well…. I don't know if we want you doing that…. #LiberalLogic

  27. W.A.S.P. as in 'white anglo saxon protestant' or as in 'we are sexual perverts', due to the subject matter I wasn't sure.

  28. Everything is a "free market" issue for you fanatics. I'll bet you support an organ market too. Hey it's your kidney, whose the government to say you can't sell it to some rich person so you can pay rent to another rich person because the rich person you work for doesn't pay you enough to survive.

  29. The most infuriating thing I heard was a mother complain that are adding a lot more swearing to the walking dead. I'm like "Woman you watch a man get bisected and child get his eye blown out but you draw the line at the word Fuck!"

  30. i agree but good luck . Ever consider making a video about things that could actually be changed or is it easier to go after stuff you know everyone can agree with but flippin no one will ever get done?

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